words.

you are lovely
I want to see you
for an hour or two
to hear more words

I want to see
I hear your words
words so casually
when you see me

every word
on your lips
left a wound
wound of words
like your blade
I fell upon
now I know
youre only words
so never speak
to me

when you fall
and you are down
speak to yourself
say the words
their only words

every word
on your lips
left a wound
like your blade
I fell upon
now I know
youre only words
so never speak
to me

sands

He's been waiting with time
feels he could be happier
if given her time

if she came back to find
he would give himself
If she would cross that line

If there were any questions
he was broken
hoping for repair
with love and affection
she could keep him there

He's over the regrets
his spirit trying to med
inside the broken heart
He's little boy hiding under the bed

with the more soul he shared
the more the air lingers in a breath
when he remembers his friend

If she ever had questions
he was broken and repaired
all the love and affection
he couldnt keep her there

staring at the sand
its cold everywhere
stars like the sands
the wind blowing away
the shadow of a man

The drive

I drove on by
when I saw my soul
on the side of the road
it was broken and battered
sideways and tattered
then shortly thereafter
I saw you

All that I am
was left here without you
like a lifetime without laughter
like nothing that mattered
I couldnt drive on by
when I saw you

after everything
after everything with you
in this life we all end lost
when I lost the strength in me
like the hole in your heart
where I love you

I cant walk around anymore
nothing I try can carry me
Its not something confidential
its broken glass in place of a heart
I'm the only one that know the sum
together where I found me
and you found you

I remember the day
when I lost my soul
now I cant trade this darkness
I cant run from this place of cold
where time doesnt matter anymore
nothing is young and nothing is old
everything removed in my soul
but you

If

If
If I could save you
save you from this
I would run around
from town to town
everywhere to hold you
to know youre alright


you
do you think
we have suffered much
when I close my eyes
I think of the lights
that have passed us by



If only I
I could see what you see
If only I
If only I could know
when you bleed
If only I
could be what you need
like flowers that grow
something beautiful that dies


so lets take time
and watch flowers grow
never close our eyes
as everything we know
ends and goodbye



Beautiful you
did you suffer much
did you close your eyes
so you dont see the light
go rushing by


From across the oceans
I was gathered all around you
every pain you know
I too felt inside

once

I'm all out of form
all out of hope
one more heartbreak
could leave me forlorn

when I was with you
I felt far from home
you know the reason why
never gave me
human grace

Its easy to decieve
even easier to tease
with a heart
you can't release

I spend so much of my time
believing in the lies
to keep a dream alive
its no use

There are songs
there is music
that reminds me
she is out there
so I say a prayer

Everytime I close my eyes
I'm left alone
left wondering why
I dont despise
for loving
what was you

I cant live without
a safe place
so I'll close my eyes

now all I see in me
is the love for you
what was once
so alive in you

dont wait

In a way, you could say
you are her everything
I see her in the scene
its always about you

I've seen her cry,to find her way
I've seen her second thoughts
when she gets caught up
but its always back to you

she says your name, I see her change
her eyes light up, yet you turn them out
see shes gone without you, so turn around
cause its always back to you

Open your eyes, and you will find
she's beautiful, she's breakable
so turn around, open your mind
dont be viciously unkind
because she loves you

she's sublime dont you waste her
its time so define what you're after
in the time you take dont waste it
cause shes always back to you

whats going on shes gone without you
so many times she breaks, does it matter
you have no idea quit taking so damn long
cause it for her its always back to you

open your eyes and you will find
behind her beauty she's breakable
and this cant be defined
so turn around
cause she loves you

awake

my sweet girl
dont you cry so
there are things
you need to know



It kills me to see your tears
when you seem so defenseless
dont let your heart harden
when this life hurts you now



I can tell you about me
how life beat me down
I see all of you hurting
I see pain in your eyes
when I think about it
it breaks me



maybe it feels like its raining
But I believe everything in you
you need to know from your smile
In my darkest days
I found light in you



when you disappear
fading is the beautiful light
but try to understand
I lie awake and don't feel right

simple kiss

I think about you
In the dark of the night
When my world lies still
when my power of will
makes me feel
It will be alright


I wonder do you know
that I ever felt like this
If I could be with you now
I would somehow
If I could feel your kiss


you should know
everytime I watch you go
your the only one
to take the lonely
from every lonely road
I ever walked upon


Do you know
I ever felt like this
when you took my pain
and you healed my wounds
with a simple kiss

safe in my heart

You are my smile and light
In the my days of down
you are my light all around

If your storms ever rage
and the waves crash down
you are safe in my heart

I know your story book
I know your shell
A heart surrounded well

If your sky is ever dark
I will separate your clouds
you are safe in my heart

I read all your scars
I know where they start
By the wall around your heart

If your storms ever rage
When its hard to turn a page
you are safe in my heart

I know your dreams will come true
If you allow me inside
I'll guard your soul i'll protect you

If you ever get caught in the rain
your wild horses feel untamed
you are safe in my heart

If the days ever bear down
and the night is so dark
you are safe in my heart

If the path should ever be hard
I will carry you through
I will carry you
Because you are safe
In my heart

miss you in my life

I see you sleeping
Only in my mind
And I have been away
alone this season

I waste so much time
Thinking of when I
Would hold you gently
And I'd look into your eyes
And I would be the one
To calm your shaking
When you would cry

I miss you in my life
I miss you in my life
I miss you in my life
So miss you in my life

You hide your answers
Within every smile
And time and time again
Losing chances
To reconcile

And even if I had my time over
It would take awhile
To reveal all my best intentions
That I let slip by

I miss you in my life
So miss you in my life
I miss you in my life
Now I miss you in my life

always

Its my favorite thing

just sitting there

watching you sleeping

the secrets you keep

go on and keep them

someday you wont need them

I always say your always gone

you were never here for me

but your always here

in my heart

hey there baby

hey there smile

I promise to never be far

I alway took care of you

yes I did

most of the time

just grind through my day

trying to understand your way

most of the time

in my way

trying to keep the pain at bay

I always say your gone

you were never there

but your always here

in my heart

I always took care of you

knowing

I can still see
see you there
I can see you
everywhere

I remember
every smile
the islands
in your eyes


I am lost
lost forever
in your time
all I can say


I could never say
what could save you
to open your life
like flowers in bloom


who will save
who is to know
what was our truth
that could save you


no one could every want you
more than I want you
no one could ever say
only we know our truth


I can still feel every kiss
see every smile on your lips
I still see the sunlight in your hair
I feel you presence everywhere


I can see without sunlight
when I close my eyes for awhile
I see secret islands in your mind
where we would walk for a time


I wait for you near my edge
on my knees on my back
I will be there, be your answer
when the silence attacks


when there is no one is left
and nothing said can save you
who will you break
who will give yourself to


I can you in the water
I see you in the air
I can see you
I can see you here

why

I don't have anything to say to you
and if I did it wouldnt be good
it might be good for me but not for you
but every word I said would be true


there isnt anything left in me
not even any hate for you
I just seen you sell yourself
for free like you always do


when I think about what left in me of you
I just think about all the things you do
I wont lie and say what I think of you
you blame alcohol but its really you



you can live a lie like its true
but what we are isnt what we say
its in every little thing we do
and you won't change the twisted you



when it comes down to it
like when you love to do it
anyone can have all of you
you can't hide, truth is truth



what goes through your nose
goes to your mind and to your soul
leaves a hole in your heart
so sell yourself for free its so old



when your lips move its a sign
any sound you make is a lie
the destruction you left in my mind
I started to heal when I quit asking why



live your life like a living lie
lie on your back cause your high
like the disease on your lips
prices paid by your randoms
never to say goodbye


its all on you
all on yourself
so change yourself
or live the life of lies
and pay the price.

bringing down our eyes

Time is bringing down our eyes
I was found I almost made it
it was hard to hide
yet the final kiss
betrayed it

I hear goodbye in the wind outside
left behind the leaves and light
you know I could never let the dark
dim the light in your beautiful eyes

the world is left on shaking ground
your light behind darkness to remind us
In my arms no warmth could be found
a kiss in time that could not confine us

the time is up on everything we know
and the time itself is bringing down our eyes
In the sound of seas and snow falling
I can hear you now as the musics ending

further from my need

There was a time
when you were everything
You were my need

there was a time
when you I needed
You were my everything

There was a time
I needed to keep you warm

There was a time
I needed to keep you from harm

Then your seas
they rushed over me
When my secret wounds would bleed
you were never there for me
taking me further from my need

I knew you
when you were so warm

I remember you
when it was everything
to keep you from any harm

Then your seas
they rushed over me
when my secret wounds would bleed
when you werent there for me
taking me further from my need

For every place
we were going to go
for all the spaces
We will never know

I hold them close
in this empty room
where I traded everything
to be with you alone

Then your seas
they rush over me
my secret wounds they bleed
taking me further from my need

a smile

Tell her I'll be waiting
in my usual place
I'm tired and weary
feels like theres no escape
Until I see her face

when you love a woman
the rich get poor
the strong get weak
like words I can't find
like a feeling I can't hide

when she is running with me
my restless heart inside it pounds
near her my storms are breaking
running like colors in a painting
like the blue ocean all around

something is breaking so it seems
in the middle of a storm thats raging
like my life resurrected by her smile
a safe place for me to be for awhile
so let her smile

smile that turns the world

you are the light to me
like forces that are stronger
than anything I've ever seen
like starlight over oceans
and moons that are unseen

you are beautiful and lovely
like city lights in a night sky
I'm struck while I stare at your aura
Its your smile that turns the world

resurrection

I'm struck by your eyes
they enrapture me
like a gift to a blind man
you help me see

everything you tell me
I never new before
Your kiss is like the sea
It overpowers me

you are my direction
like I've never had before
I find myself laughing
when I find you

All my indecision
no longer haunts me
once difficult and weak
now I'm sure

everything had a premonition
now theres one thing I can be sure
its the calm I have near you
once an illness now a cure

your light is like the ocean
I was caught by your eyes
where there was distance
now lies a shore

where there was madness
now there is a reason
once I stood alone there
now I walk on water

when I find myself serious
I find peace in laughter
In you like air that lifts me
I find you there

Like resurrection
I feel eternity
when I feel broken
I find you

beautiful

In every smile I see your face
in every beautiful girl I see
still all my tears remind me
of how in you I was free

the sun reminds me of your face
where I found peace in our days
you are in every wave crashing over me
beautiful girls in my mistakes
beauty reminds me of you

tried so hard to make things wrong
when we should have made them right
all the mornings that lasted so long
like the hammock in the yard
your beautiful smile in my heart

The years they make us older
like memories I have never seen
in the darkness where I'm down
I can see the light I once found
when I close my eyes I see you

I'm mostly dead yet still alive
everthing you wanted me to be
I'm quiet when its still
wothout you against my will
I pray when I know I should
I would be your answers still

All these beautiful girls
I see through
reminding me about foolish you
everything i was or could ever be
you had to take

Now I'm stronger and invincible
I hide nothing and all of me is visible
I can't imagine being anything new
in the stillness its beautiful
just like you

nothing

I'm not good with endings
I hope you remember
there was meaning
in it all

In this world of madness
when time runs out
you have to know that
we are in it all

I hope you remember
to always hold on
there are true good things
Like everlasting

Its the fundamentals
its in the faith of hope
its in the freedom of trust
nothing less than us

even in the middle of madness
when time runs out
nothing pulls us apart

prayers unanswered

I fell this time
Not sure I can find
find the strength
this one last time

All this ache I'm feeling
more than I can take
like a sun the cloud
keeps hiding

I see them in my dreams
I see them in the mountains
Don't know how it happened
somewhere I failed them

I've seen all these dreams
in my skies that are falling
when my silent prayers
and my cries arent answered

I never believed in impossible
now its all I'm speaking
there are no words
I'm believing

its been a broken heart
so long its all I know
never believed in doubt
though the sky was falling down

If I didnt see them in my dreams
I would quit it all right now
cause my sky has fallen down
in the prayers left unanswered

is there a brighter day

I see my two children running
Running to find me
I see me running
knowing they feel alone

I blame me
for everything
for what they've been through
and I blame you
In the mirror I see you

If I could change this
see through like I once knew
this burden I bear
what we've been through

I know that I blame me
no one can understand
what I know
what we went through

life is not what we always want
this is so hard to bear
I'll pretend thats true
theres no justice in the mirror
cause I see you

I'm running out of ways
out of hope
is there a brighter day
a brighter way

I'll pretend to cope
like I know they will be okay
like there is justice in the end
but I don't know

is there a brighter day

what does it mean

lately my eyes have been stung
with saline and wine
I find myself more highstrung
than I used to be

what does it all mean

I drove down your old street
it seemed like a dream
there hasnt been anything to hold on to
yet I'm free

what does it all mean

I don't know where I'll find peace
in this ocean of my dreams
when the water baptized me
when I once believed

what does it all mean

I've been half alive though I must say
some people call it living the dream
I would trade all these things for a day
of knowing what love means

what does it all mean

beneath

My intentions are lost
in her finest details
my words aren't found
all these words that fail
lost in my wishing well

My wounds run deep
when I want her so bad
when I fall beneath
hopes in the dreams
in the touch of her hand

its all mine
everthing I hold
everything I hide
no one knows
Its all I deny

My promises I break them
tell myself not to fake it
they bring me farther
from feelings I have made

In the endless sky
In the blackest nights
I gasp for her air
I would run away fast
but she's already there

Its all mine
everything I hold
everything I hide
no one knows
its all I deny

another work in progress

She lies beside him
its in the evening
he hears everything she says
she tells him its alright

he worked his life
just to be something
what it meant
he'll never know

She lays beside him
now he's sleeping
is everything alright
she has secrets
she's been keeping

She's waited her life
for the moment to come
a long time for love like this
a tender kiss
to throw it all away

all they believe is tomorrow
when tomorrow never comes
so learn in love to love the sorrow
as their sleeping

another work in progress...

He's getting busier smashing stones
he does everything to ignore the voice
that says were all alone

everyone in everything with intention
its in the face that looks like wishing away
still its basically feeling alone

in the simple quest to quantify
to find little reasons why
the stillness in alone

melting dripping drips in candle wicks
candle light dividing light of night
its less to be alone when it feels right

a work in progress

She sees herself less in the light
like snow that melts into the street
still she burns in me

When she holds me I stand bare
like desire that waits by herself
she takes me over and I'm gone

when all the good is gone
in days when they all are one
there is in her
something to believe

though its harder to be one today
even when its harder to believe
giving in is a waste of all the time

Sometimes I don't know where to go
then I see her in our candle shrine
she takes me over and I know

I don't need the answer to every question
I just need the silent strength when I'm done
she pulls me and strips me down to cry

Like snow that melts in to the street
its easy when we come undone
still I burn for her

free

You fool with me your recollection

like one million things you said

I look around and I am through

I see you naked but I'm not moved

your much too obvious like a tragedy

I expect nothing, nothing is too much for you

You fooled with my turned back

made me worse your knife in my wounds

its not difficult not to feel just a little bit

You don't see me

You don't know me

You don't free me

free me

I learned too much from my wounds

I see through it all through you

I will leave these cuts behind me

You are dead in me as dead can be

I can stand alone in the autistic sun

not enough left of you in me to disappoint me

there is less behind me than the light I see

I see through it all and I see you

I feel the sun through my darkest tragedy

You don't know me

You don't see me

You don't free me

free me

Under the sun

what you trying to say
Understand I won't walk away
I've lived hand in hand with this life
my world never tumbling down

It not hard for me to say
I could sacrifice myself to you
yet I just can't see
what is in you true

I'll take your hand
never fake my words
maybe thats the way you are
a broken heart in a screaming head

Its not hard for me to stay
its not to hard to make me say
I could sacrifice myself to you
maybe you can see

Like a long time curse
thats not the way you are
can you see what you mean to me
under the sun

River of pain.....a work in progress

The blue skies have turned grey

Everytime I carried you

it was never enough



I watched you there

through everytime you cut you

I was the one to bleed



I was there to break your fall

you would steal and take

yet you always left my pain



When you cut you I bled

When you fell I was the break

what is there left to steal or take

not even water in the river of pain



I gave you strength when you weren't strong

when the snow is on the ground winter come

who will save your heart when the sun is gone



Like the winter wind blowing leaves away

alone like a bitter sin hidden all along

words without deeds dont ever say



In the darkest moments a longing voice

bluest skies in the darkest gray

I must go



when you cut you I bled

when you broke I was the fall

when you took you took it all

even the water in river of pain



The sky is darkest grey like my love

Hammock

Time is the seasons of our life
we get older every day
while all the golden moments
like sunsets sadly fade away

Everything is in these moments
in sunsets and sunrises anew
yet in the endtruly there are few
moments are never getting younger

every day begins and ends
through some perpetual hunger
hopes that seem to fade away
slowly slowing before the end

Looking back on the times
on the times of life passed away
wanting so much to find a better place
My childish hopes hoping on a better place to play

All the places we will never go
My deepest dreams you will never know
moments feeling like they wouldnt end
oh the days I wish I just might have saved

hold on loosely to what never lasts
falling through my hands like it was sold
like decisions the die we cast
love eternal sacrificed for past

nights are never warm by looking back
without touch memories leave you sad
days like haze days together
in the sun the stars the weather

pile up destruction by regrets
emptiness like an empty pest
swallow darkness nonetheless
only one place is a place of rest

selling selves when theres more to buy
delusion of the heart worth the why's
give the gifts to less than the sum
loss of warmth like countless setting suns

moments when filled by every need
taking for granted sacrices for peace
the only truth those days swinging between trees
when the world was right
when the laughter was so deep

falling

Is this how it seems

from an immaculate dream

yet now I can breathe



I've been waiting for a sign

but my God

coming apart on my knees



I've tried to stay

to stay alive

believe in hope

overcome by fear inside



every memory of my child

that blows me by

like dark deja vus

playing a game I lose



memories so real

repeating chills

taking me to pieces

will I make it alright



I'm trying to stay blind

to the fear inside

my dear child

two lives I can't hide

cant keep from falling apart

bad dream

I took a walk around the yard

stared at dead plants you planted

til it got too hard

I smoked my first pack of cigarettes today

Closed my eyes to see two children play

I went down,

down to an old Cafe

Put a half a case away

I took a sleeping pill

and tried to watch TV

But you know

the leading lady

looked too much like you for the likes of me

I woke up crying in my sleep

Staring at your pillow

the one you always complained about and

I reached out to touch your hand

And knocked the phone off the nightstand

Heard a girl saying May I help you please?"

No thanks

there's nothing you can really do for me

Nothing random for me

don't want to be like you

you see

I just had a bad dream

that's all that's wrong with me

I just had a bad dream

Went out to loosen up the car

Some how I wound up at the yardhouse bar

I had a vodka soda on the run

But I didn't get too far

one after the other

beautiful girls making plays for my heart

their always after me

but I ran away

I found some friends

I used to know

Dragged them out to see stars glow

I drew myself a bath

and I tried to read your book

But you know

it just didn't seem quite worth the time it took

And I woke up crying in my sleep

I was talking to your pillow

And I reached out

to touch your hand