resurrection

I'm struck by your eyes
they enrapture me
like a gift to a blind man
you help me see

everything you tell me
I never new before
Your kiss is like the sea
It overpowers me

you are my direction
like I've never had before
I find myself laughing
when I find you

All my indecision
no longer haunts me
once difficult and weak
now I'm sure

everything had a premonition
now theres one thing I can be sure
its the calm I have near you
once an illness now a cure

your light is like the ocean
I was caught by your eyes
where there was distance
now lies a shore

where there was madness
now there is a reason
once I stood alone there
now I walk on water

when I find myself serious
I find peace in laughter
In you like air that lifts me
I find you there

Like resurrection
I feel eternity
when I feel broken
I find you

beautiful

In every smile I see your face
in every beautiful girl I see
still all my tears remind me
of how in you I was free

the sun reminds me of your face
where I found peace in our days
you are in every wave crashing over me
beautiful girls in my mistakes
beauty reminds me of you

tried so hard to make things wrong
when we should have made them right
all the mornings that lasted so long
like the hammock in the yard
your beautiful smile in my heart

The years they make us older
like memories I have never seen
in the darkness where I'm down
I can see the light I once found
when I close my eyes I see you

I'm mostly dead yet still alive
everthing you wanted me to be
I'm quiet when its still
wothout you against my will
I pray when I know I should
I would be your answers still

All these beautiful girls
I see through
reminding me about foolish you
everything i was or could ever be
you had to take

Now I'm stronger and invincible
I hide nothing and all of me is visible
I can't imagine being anything new
in the stillness its beautiful
just like you

nothing

I'm not good with endings
I hope you remember
there was meaning
in it all

In this world of madness
when time runs out
you have to know that
we are in it all

I hope you remember
to always hold on
there are true good things
Like everlasting

Its the fundamentals
its in the faith of hope
its in the freedom of trust
nothing less than us

even in the middle of madness
when time runs out
nothing pulls us apart

prayers unanswered

I fell this time
Not sure I can find
find the strength
this one last time

All this ache I'm feeling
more than I can take
like a sun the cloud
keeps hiding

I see them in my dreams
I see them in the mountains
Don't know how it happened
somewhere I failed them

I've seen all these dreams
in my skies that are falling
when my silent prayers
and my cries arent answered

I never believed in impossible
now its all I'm speaking
there are no words
I'm believing

its been a broken heart
so long its all I know
never believed in doubt
though the sky was falling down

If I didnt see them in my dreams
I would quit it all right now
cause my sky has fallen down
in the prayers left unanswered

is there a brighter day

I see my two children running
Running to find me
I see me running
knowing they feel alone

I blame me
for everything
for what they've been through
and I blame you
In the mirror I see you

If I could change this
see through like I once knew
this burden I bear
what we've been through

I know that I blame me
no one can understand
what I know
what we went through

life is not what we always want
this is so hard to bear
I'll pretend thats true
theres no justice in the mirror
cause I see you

I'm running out of ways
out of hope
is there a brighter day
a brighter way

I'll pretend to cope
like I know they will be okay
like there is justice in the end
but I don't know

is there a brighter day

what does it mean

lately my eyes have been stung
with saline and wine
I find myself more highstrung
than I used to be

what does it all mean

I drove down your old street
it seemed like a dream
there hasnt been anything to hold on to
yet I'm free

what does it all mean

I don't know where I'll find peace
in this ocean of my dreams
when the water baptized me
when I once believed

what does it all mean

I've been half alive though I must say
some people call it living the dream
I would trade all these things for a day
of knowing what love means

what does it all mean

beneath

My intentions are lost
in her finest details
my words aren't found
all these words that fail
lost in my wishing well

My wounds run deep
when I want her so bad
when I fall beneath
hopes in the dreams
in the touch of her hand

its all mine
everthing I hold
everything I hide
no one knows
Its all I deny

My promises I break them
tell myself not to fake it
they bring me farther
from feelings I have made

In the endless sky
In the blackest nights
I gasp for her air
I would run away fast
but she's already there

Its all mine
everything I hold
everything I hide
no one knows
its all I deny

another work in progress

She lies beside him
its in the evening
he hears everything she says
she tells him its alright

he worked his life
just to be something
what it meant
he'll never know

She lays beside him
now he's sleeping
is everything alright
she has secrets
she's been keeping

She's waited her life
for the moment to come
a long time for love like this
a tender kiss
to throw it all away

all they believe is tomorrow
when tomorrow never comes
so learn in love to love the sorrow
as their sleeping

another work in progress...

He's getting busier smashing stones
he does everything to ignore the voice
that says were all alone

everyone in everything with intention
its in the face that looks like wishing away
still its basically feeling alone

in the simple quest to quantify
to find little reasons why
the stillness in alone

melting dripping drips in candle wicks
candle light dividing light of night
its less to be alone when it feels right

a work in progress

She sees herself less in the light
like snow that melts into the street
still she burns in me

When she holds me I stand bare
like desire that waits by herself
she takes me over and I'm gone

when all the good is gone
in days when they all are one
there is in her
something to believe

though its harder to be one today
even when its harder to believe
giving in is a waste of all the time

Sometimes I don't know where to go
then I see her in our candle shrine
she takes me over and I know

I don't need the answer to every question
I just need the silent strength when I'm done
she pulls me and strips me down to cry

Like snow that melts in to the street
its easy when we come undone
still I burn for her

free

You fool with me your recollection

like one million things you said

I look around and I am through

I see you naked but I'm not moved

your much too obvious like a tragedy

I expect nothing, nothing is too much for you

You fooled with my turned back

made me worse your knife in my wounds

its not difficult not to feel just a little bit

You don't see me

You don't know me

You don't free me

free me

I learned too much from my wounds

I see through it all through you

I will leave these cuts behind me

You are dead in me as dead can be

I can stand alone in the autistic sun

not enough left of you in me to disappoint me

there is less behind me than the light I see

I see through it all and I see you

I feel the sun through my darkest tragedy

You don't know me

You don't see me

You don't free me

free me

Under the sun

what you trying to say
Understand I won't walk away
I've lived hand in hand with this life
my world never tumbling down

It not hard for me to say
I could sacrifice myself to you
yet I just can't see
what is in you true

I'll take your hand
never fake my words
maybe thats the way you are
a broken heart in a screaming head

Its not hard for me to stay
its not to hard to make me say
I could sacrifice myself to you
maybe you can see

Like a long time curse
thats not the way you are
can you see what you mean to me
under the sun

River of pain.....a work in progress

The blue skies have turned grey

Everytime I carried you

it was never enough



I watched you there

through everytime you cut you

I was the one to bleed



I was there to break your fall

you would steal and take

yet you always left my pain



When you cut you I bled

When you fell I was the break

what is there left to steal or take

not even water in the river of pain



I gave you strength when you weren't strong

when the snow is on the ground winter come

who will save your heart when the sun is gone



Like the winter wind blowing leaves away

alone like a bitter sin hidden all along

words without deeds dont ever say



In the darkest moments a longing voice

bluest skies in the darkest gray

I must go



when you cut you I bled

when you broke I was the fall

when you took you took it all

even the water in river of pain



The sky is darkest grey like my love

Hammock

Time is the seasons of our life
we get older every day
while all the golden moments
like sunsets sadly fade away

Everything is in these moments
in sunsets and sunrises anew
yet in the endtruly there are few
moments are never getting younger

every day begins and ends
through some perpetual hunger
hopes that seem to fade away
slowly slowing before the end

Looking back on the times
on the times of life passed away
wanting so much to find a better place
My childish hopes hoping on a better place to play

All the places we will never go
My deepest dreams you will never know
moments feeling like they wouldnt end
oh the days I wish I just might have saved

hold on loosely to what never lasts
falling through my hands like it was sold
like decisions the die we cast
love eternal sacrificed for past

nights are never warm by looking back
without touch memories leave you sad
days like haze days together
in the sun the stars the weather

pile up destruction by regrets
emptiness like an empty pest
swallow darkness nonetheless
only one place is a place of rest

selling selves when theres more to buy
delusion of the heart worth the why's
give the gifts to less than the sum
loss of warmth like countless setting suns

moments when filled by every need
taking for granted sacrices for peace
the only truth those days swinging between trees
when the world was right
when the laughter was so deep